I have sent messages on Facebook to six people within my target audience asking for three things they think I should add or take out of my rough cut.
"Could you watch this and give me three things you think I need to add in or take out? (this is only my second rough cut, its only half finished and there are parts missing). Thankyou! https://vimeo.com/149257870"Person No.1:
"use as much of that doll placement/Ben placement concept as well as you can"
"more contrast"
"play around with transitions"
Person No.2:
" if you were to add anything it would be an effect that make the colours really pop, so that it's really vibrant "
"I don't think anything really needs taking out, I think it's great. I like the storyline and it flows well"
Person no.3:
"Erm I think if anything needs taking out its the close ups of Rachel's mouth etc. I get you're trying to make her look manipulative with that but I just feel it's space filler so maybe cut that unless you disagree"
Person no.4:
"It's a really cool concept and I'm not sure what I'd change about it, the pace was a tad too fast for me but if you're cutting to a song beat then there's not really much you can do about that"
So to conclude, the changes that I will make to my rough cut are:
-play around with the contrast and the transitioning
-replace some of the close up shots of Rachel
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